“Bullying is unwanted, aggressive behavior among school aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time. Bullying includes actions such as making threats, spreading rumors, attacking someone physically or verbally, and excluding someone from a group on purpose.” -stopbullying.gov
People who haven’t been bullied, never quite understand the ramifications of it.
You can’t just simply shake it off.
You can’t just bully back.
You can’t just be okay.
Every October, during National Bullying Prevention Month, schools and organizations across the country join together to raise awareness about ridding our children’s lives of Bullying.
I don’t think the scope and impact of Bullying has truly transcended our psychosis. You see, as a whole we understand that the idea of ‘Bullying’ is BAD… But, unless you have seen a child or teenager cry themselves to sleep every night, go into a depressive state of hopelessness and inadequacy or even choose radical steps to strip themselves of whatever the difference is that has made them a pawn for bullies, your understanding is never fully adequate.
A scar on the heart doesn’t just go away, because a bully does.
The work it takes to heal from being bullied, can take years and to be honest it may stay with someone for the rest of their lives. It is a persistent hurt that is buried so deep into the heart, it changes the emotional spectrum of a human.
Our YGoal Should B: Increasing awareness of a bullies impact on children of all ages… encourage folks to work together, to stop bullying and cyberbullying!
I always say ‘Be Amazing, Be You’ … There is a reason I always say that, you see I learned from a very early age, that each and every one of us is amazing in our own right. No one should have the power to make us feel less than amazing.
Eleanor Roosevelt once said one of my favorite quotes, “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” This I find to be wholly true, one way to help build up the effervescence of our youth, is by engraving a thought process in their souls that they are the only keepers of their belief, and that no one can ever make them feel inferior without their consent. One must carry their pillar of strength as their compass in life, and if we do this all the while encouraging the idea that beauty is ONLY found in the differences amongst us, maybe then and only then, will we be able to shame bullying into it’s rightful resting place.
One of the most important aspects of bullying that is not talked about too much is the support from friends. When you see someone being bullied, even if they are not your friend, be brave and STAND UP for them. Frankly, it is our job to stand up for what is right; We must become the solution — which is not achieved by ignoring the problem!
I myself was bullied during my teenage years… it is not something I normally speak about openly, but because this means so much to me, I will take this moment and forum to address bullies. The girls who bullied me as a teenager, must have thought it was a humorous joke, but their laughter was earth shattering to my self worth.
My self-esteem was diminished to splinter, the pain was so raw, it undervalued everything I had ever believed of myself. Now thinking back upon that moment, I realize how minuscule that moment was, to what I had accomplished and was yet to accomplish, but that didn’t matter— their cruel words and actions were the epicenter of a catastrophic Tsunami, which boiled into tears and self-hatred every time the mere thought of the meaning behind their words would echo into my thoughts.
I went to far lengths to change myself, to compensate for consenting to others, that they could have the power to make me feel inferior, and for that I have worked effortlessly, that I may never allot people that opportunity again in my lifetime.
I have forgiven them, reinvigorated my faith and now better understand whatever motivation they may have had, will only have merit to be valued in the eyes of God.
But I am 27 and it has taken the past 13 years to achieve this.
It is never easy, some are able to mold their futures, motivated by this rejection, others cannot deal and find their escape by hurting themselves or others and this is inexplicably the truth of our 21st century reality.
I find it my duty to help others and have made it my mission in life, not to allow any criticism of physical or mental characterization, stereotype or mockery anywhere around me… be certain that if it is, I will not stand for it.
You too can take moments like these to teach others how to be better, or simply teach them a lesson by walking away.
Be the difference you want to see in the world.
If you or your child are in the midst of dealing with bullying, reach out to any of these organizations, which were designed to guide and support you and your loved ones.