The 3 Week Rule


A friend once told me about the ‘3 Week Rule’ in dating and I must admit, at first I was boggled by the mere suggestion of a theory with a time limit on potential love, as I’m sure you are, so I asked him to explain…

At first, I thought this must be a part of some ‘sub-textual’ guy code you would hear about in fables, but now I was considering that it could really exist. Apparently the inner- workings of the rule have been interpreted different ways by different men, some suggest that waiting a three week period to call a girl, is only adequate, not to seem desperate of course, but others believe you can’t really know someone until week 3!

In his opinion, the later was the cardinal rule and it read like this… the initial spark that flickers when you first meet someone and everything seems perfect, doesn’t last! A large part of the rule is that you have to take it slow, not seem desperate (this goes for both parties). You see, you can’t assume anything, in the potentials of dating, and compatibility has a 3-week expiration date. Knowing someone has the potential to be your- “someone” takes time, it takes a minimum of three weeks to cross the first hurdle, known as ‘the get to know ya’.

The first 3 weeks is about getting to know each other… remember being in middle school and staying up past curfew to discover what butterflies could develop with your first crush? Well these initial steps to understanding romance in your first three weeks are known to be a time of discovery and exploration, without a roadmap, it’s your initiation before someone’s true colors start to shine through. Apparently at 3 weeks, is when both parties start to feel enough “comfort-ability” to begin letting their guard down. Hand- in-hand with comfort come doubt, which prompts the ‘reconsideration sabotage stage’.

“Is this what I want?” … “Can I do better?” … “Do I want to be tied down?”

After marinating with a person for 3 weeks, if both of you are still sticking around, you could be in the midst of potential. If either gets the hee-bee-jee-bees, from one of the following…It’s going to be a sticky yellow brick road for Dorothy and the Tin Man.

–       Planning a baby nursery in the first week… you won’t make it past 3

–       If she has nicknames in week 2… he won’t make it past week 3

–       If he says ‘I think I Love You’ in the first 3 weeks… or for that matter if she says ‘I Love You; … Run!

–       If the word marriage even comes up… you don’t have a chance!


There are too many possible variables in the dating game and we must never take any of the steps for granted, don’t assume anything, keep your hands and feet tucked in and enjoy the ride!

Just remember, you have to kiss a lot of toads before you find your prince!